Liars Launch Investigation into Other Liars Lying

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Liar testifies about other liars lying.

WASHINGTON, D.C.  One group of liars has spent the better part of two years investigating an entirely different group of liars.  The first group of liars, who convinced America to invade Iraq, claiming Saddam Hussein was an eminent threat, is convinced that the other party of liars, who claim to have never spoken to a Russian, are a bunch of liars.  Sources have confirmed that the first set of liars have not been ostracized out of polite society for lying America into an illegal war, instead have been placed at the helm of an investigation, targeting a different group of liars, for a completely different set of lies.   “I can’t believe they would lie to the American public about speaking to Russians,” said the war criminal, who lied about Iraq having WMDs.  The implicated group of liars was quick to deflect that the real liars were the lying news media and his lying opponent, who continues to lie since losing the election, as a result of her extensive history of lying.   “I just hope this investigation can get to the truth,” lied an intelligence official, with a smirk on his face.

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“Home Movies” Spec Script – “Moby McGuirk” – Scene 5

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INT. BRENDON’S HOUSE – DAY

Brendon walks in the front door.

BRENDON

Mom, I’m home!  Coach wasn’t feeling well, or something, so practice was canceled!  Mom?

Brendon looks around the house until he finds his mom, Paula, in her room, dressed up and putting on makeup.

BRENDON

Mom?

PAULA

Oh, Brendon, I didn’t think you’d be home.

BRENDON

Yeah, practice was canceled.

PAULA

Well don’t you have friends to play with in the basement?

BRENDON

No, Melissa’s having an episode and Jason’s still embarrassed about what he did to Dad’s suit.

PAULA

Dad’s suit?  Brendon, you father hasn’t lived here for years, he didn’t leave a suit here.

BRENDON

Well then whose suit was hanging up in your closet?

PAULA

Maybe we should talk.

BRENDON

What? Mom, what are you-

PAULA

You see, Brendon, sometimes Mommies see other people after they get divorced.

BRENDON

What?  No, no, no, no, no.  No!  Bad!  That’s a bad Mommy!

PAULA

And he’s on his way over to pick up his suit.

BRENDON

Gasp!  I can’t believe you would lie to me like this!

PAULA

Brendon, I never lied to you.

BRENDON

Yes you did!  You’re sneaking around with other people and never told me!  That’s the same as lying.

PAULA

Would you just hear me out?

BRENDON

And what was he wearing if he didn’t have the suit on, Mom?

PAULA

Brendon.

BRENDON

Oh my god, I think I’m going to throw up.  What?  Did he just go home naked after he was done being naked all over you?

Brendon starts dry heaving.

PAULA

I didn’t lie to you, Brendon.  I just always happened to see him while you were at school, or soccer practice, or in the basement, and it just never came up.  You see, that’s not a lie, Brendon, it’s a misunderstanding in communication.

BRENDON

You are a tricky Mommy.  Now I know where I get it from.

PAULA

So you said the suit needs to be dry cleaned again?

BRENDON

Or burned.

PAULA

It’s that bad, huh?

BRENDON

Have you seen how much Jason sweats?  I think he has a problem.

PAULA

Alright, I’ll call Tony and tell him not to come.

BRENDON

No, bring Tony over, Mom, I want to meet Tony.  Heh.  Tony, my white whale.

PAULA

Brendon, what does that mean?

BRENDON

If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

PAULA

No, I think I do get it and that’s why it worries me.  It makes me think you’re going to try to harpoon him with scissors or something.

BRENDON

Hey that’s a good idea, I was just going to pour a cup of coffee on his head.

FADE TO BLACK.

Continue to: “Moby McGuirk” – Scene 6