INT. BRENDON’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
Brendon stands behind the camera. Jason and Melissa stand in front of the camera, Jason in an over-sized suit, holding a cup of coffee, Melissa in a barista apron.
BRENDON
And action!
MELISSA
Brendon, you didn’t give us a script.
BRENDON
I know that, I’m trying something different.
MELISSA
Well how am I supposed to know what my lines are if I don’t have a script?
BRENDON
Melissa, this is all part of the process, okay?
JASON
Um, Brendon?
BRENDON
Yes, Jason?
JASON
Who am I again?
BRENDON
You are the famous American musician, Moby.
JASON
And why am I upset about my cup of coffee?
BRENDON
Well, it’s less about the coffee itself, and more about the fact that Moby is being a dick right now.
JASON
And why am I being a dick?
MELISSA
Brendon, have you ever read Moby Dick?
BRENDON
Yes I have, Melissa. What’s your point?
JASON
This is based on a book?
MELISSA
You know this isn’t what the book is about, right?
BRENDON
Yes Melissa, I know that.
JASON
It’s not?
MELISSA
No, Jason. It’s about a whale.
JASON
Why is Moby mad at a whale? I never thought Moby was a mad guy, I’m confused.
MELISSA
No, Moby’s not in the book, Jason.
JASON
So then why am I dressed like Moby?
MELISSA
Ask Brendon.
BRENDON
Look, I just thought, all of our other movies had scripts, why not try to make one without a script, you know?
MELISSA
You mean improvise?
BRENDON
Yes, exactly!
MELISSA
But then we’re writing the script, Brendon. And it was your job to write the script.
BRENDON
I understand that, Melissa, and maybe this is a learning process for everyone.
JASON
Brendon, I’m already sweating a lot as it is.
BRENDON
Uh huh.
JASON
I’m just worried I’m gonna ruin your dad’s suit if I get nervous on what to say.
BRENDON
Just give it a shot, you guys will be great! Let’s start with Moby flipping out about the cup of coffee.
JASON
Wait, so Moby isn’t in the book, right?
BRENDON
Yeah, we already went over this.
JASON
Oh, so this is like a parody, like a play on words, using Moby to make fun of the book, since he’s not in the book.
BRENDON
That’s about right.
JASON
Oh, okay, I get it now.
BRENDON
And action!
JASON
Oy! You listen here, pretty! This is the worst blimey roast of cuppah I’ve ever tasted in me whole bloody life!
MELISSA
Whoa. I mean, sorry, sir. I can remake that for you.
JASON
Um. No! Nothing you can do can make this better! I just want you to have to stand there, while I yell about this coffee.
MELISSA
Moby, you’re such a dick.
BRENDON
And cut! I think that was some of our best work, you guys. I don’t know where that accent came from, Jason, since Moby isn’t British, but I really liked it.
JASON
It came from within me.
FADE TO BLACK.
James P. W. Martin 