Who Will Bail-Out Banks After The Next Crash? Their Depositors

Capitalism is an unstable system, evident by the economic down-turns that happen every four to seven years.  Most Americans are still recovering from the last economic recession in 2008-09.  Meanwhile, the next crash is right around the corner.  JPMorgan’s own internal documents have the company predicting the next crash will happen in 2020.  Certainly, anyone paying attention can see the signs that the crash is already in progress.  The U.S. federal government started by giving unknown banks $75 billion per day, which has grown to $100 billion a day, because the banks are coming up short on cash – every – single – day.

The crash is happening right now and the government is already bailing banks out; however only to the extent that they get Mr. Trump re-elected.  Once the 2020 election is over, whether Trump wins or another candidate, the economy will go into free-fall, as the government will stop funneling money into these failing banks and the banks will need to find a new way to reimburse their losses.  In a true “free-market economy” as these Capitalists claim to aspire for, the investors of these banks would themselves have to pool the money to cover their own losses, but they don’t want to do that.  So they have another idea on how to get bailed out: not from the taxpayer, but directly from their depositors.

New laws were implemented in 2014 to help governments deal with failing banks, allowing for, what is called, a “bail-in.”  What this means is that the bank can take funds directly from their depositors to make up for their own losses.  They have no obligation to ever pay this money back to their depositors.  The U.S. government does still claim to insure amounts up to $250,000 in a bank account, but after the next crash, they may not have the resources to keep that promise, allowing the banks to take what they please.

This is, of course, not without precedent.  After the 2008 mortgage crisis, 5.2 million families lost their homes, taken by the banks and then resold by the banks; the banks got paid twice for the same house, while regular people were kicked to the curb.  The banks paid Obama very well to protect them from the wrath of their victims.  In preparation for the next crash, the finance industry is again paying Trump and corporate Democrats, like Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris, and Cory Booker, to ensure whoever is elected will be on their side after the crash.  Obama received $1.2 million from the financial sector for his 2008 campaign; below are the top recipients of the financial sector for the 2020 election.

The fact that these laws were passed is proof that this is their plan after the next crash.  I’m trying to warn people about this because this will affect anyone with money in a bank account, which is all of us.  Cyprus has already implemented these policies of austerity in the face of financial crisis, allowing banks to steal money directly from their depositors.  This is yet another example of how the fear-mongering Capitalists do of Socialism ‘stealing what you’ve earned,’ is actually true of what Capitalism does.  Aside from stealing the output of their workers’ labor to make a profit, they then fine, tax, and steal from working people to reimburse their own financial failures.

If there is any lesson of emphasis to take from this warning, it is that it does not matter who is in office after the next economic crash; whether the President is a Republican or a Democrat, the only thing that matters is how much money they took from the financial industry, because that is a direct reflection of who they will serve.  Trump and the Democrats I listed are obvious puppets of the banks, but even Elizabeth Warren, who spouts vague progressive rhetoric in the primary campaign, vows to take corporate money in the general election.  But as Bernie Sanders says, “You can’t change a corrupt system by taking its money.”  You may have noticed the corporate media covers Warren favorably while they still smear Bernie; it’s because they know Warren isn’t a real threat to the corporate establishment and Bernie is.  While I’m certain the DNC will once again cheat him out of being the Democratic nominee, he is the only candidate who is unpaid by and will have the guts to stand up to the banks in the face of their crimes against humanity and a crash with the potential to be more severe than the Great Depression.

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[BREAKING] Trump Officially Indicted In Russian Meddling of Karaoke Competition

[WASHINGTON, D.C.]  Just minutes after Jamaican beer company, Red Stripe, was indicted for colluding with the Russian government to rig the karaoke competition of August 23rd, investigators began digging even deeper for clues to the mastermind Russian plot to undermine America’s faith in karaoke competitions.  However, none of us expected the investigation to go this deep.

Several figures within the Trump administration, including Donald Trump himself, have officially been indicted for conspiring with the Russians to sow discord in America, including, but not limited to, the rigging of a fraudulent karaoke competition, which took place on August 23rd, 2018 at Finny’s Pub in Doylestown, PA.

The evidence to support this most recent indictment is quite striking, considering it was right under our nose the entire time.  Clearly, Donald Trump has been working with Red Stripe, the sponsor of the karaoke competition, and the Russian government to rig karaoke competitions all over America.

Dun, dun, dun!

In the midst of this mind-blowing revelation, Karaokegate has officially been declared.  This photo is incriminating evidence that one of America’s most trusted democratic institutions, the karaoke competition, has been tainted by the President himself, who is working as a Russian operative.  Discord is officially sowed.  Even more unsettling is the expression of the man standing behind Putin.  That furrowed brow carries the weight of a thousand stolen karaoke competitions.

What does he know about karaoke meddling?

For good measure, I’m indicting that guy too.  It’s time to get to the bottom of this.  As previously mentioned, my indictments are not legally binding, but I will continue to treat them as if they are.  Now that the President of the United States has officially been indicted, Russia is without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt guilty of interfering in at least one karaoke competition, though my suspicion is that this operation spans over thousands of karaoke competitions across the country.

For more information about Russian karaoke meddling, don’t miss my tell-all book, What Happened At the Karaoke Competition?

What Happened At the Karaoke Competition?

I remember the feeling I had when I first learned that Russia had interfered in the karaoke competition, which I had so desired to win, like it was yesterday.  Because it was announced just yesterday.  But the more-than-a-week leading up to that moment was filled with trials and tribulations, which I had to come to terms with.

In the very moment that I lost the karaoke competition, I knew there was foul play afoot.  It was as if the entire bar asked at once, “Sam who?”  Even the karaoke DJ reaffirmed my suspicions of prejudice from the judges, though his ramblings about Russian accents in that moment didn’t register with me, because truthfully, I was hurt.

It’s not that I wanted the beer cooler with attached bottle opener.  Hell, I would have just given them the beer cooler if they really wanted it.  I just wanted to be number one at karaoke.  I mean, all the signs pointed to me winning, so you can imagine I was pretty devastated.  You see, this is now my third-consecutive time placing second in a karaoke competition.  These competitions only come around a few times a year, and I’ve been practicing songs almost every Thursday night, when Finny’s Pub hosts karaoke night.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to keep practicing and trying to earn that “number one at karaoke” title, which I so deserve.

Most of the week after losing the karaoke competition, I spent hiking in the dense woods of Pennsylvania.  I camped and backpacked when I had to, but mostly I just walked.  I felt like I had lost touch with reality and needed to realign myself.  I tried singing the songs I had sung the night of the competition, but I began to feel a sense of loathing toward those songs; I felt so naïve in thinking that song selection could win a karaoke competition.

By the end of the week, I had reintroduced myself into normal society and was ready to return to the karaoke stage.  My unnamed source inside Finny’s Pub continued to claim he had information about interference in the karaoke competition and what I immediately found strange was that the word Russia kept coming up.  Part of me wanted so badly for it to be true that I wasn’t responsible for my own loss, but addressed it with a grain of skepticism.  Within the next few hours, as the evidence began to pile up, I launched a full-throttle investigation into the potential of Russian interference in the karaoke competition.

That investigation continues and more and more revelations pour in everyday.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.  You can read all about my personal accounts of Russian meddling in my upcoming tell-all book, What Happened At the Karaoke Competition?

Official Investigation Launched into Russian Meddling of Karaoke Competition

I have officially launched an investigation into Russia meddling in the karaoke competition which took place on August 23, 2018.  Though I have zero legal authority, I have placed indictments on several Russian agents, who have ties with operatives within the karaoke bar, Finny’s Pub in Doylestown, PA.  If any evidence should be required of my claims, the very fact that I have opened an investigation and placed indictments is evidence enough that Russia is guilty.

The winner of the competition was a shady figure who goes by the name of “Sam,” however, reliable sources within the karaoke bar later revealed that Sam’s full name is Saminski Popolovski.  Many patrons of the bar that night noted that they “didn’t even remember hearing her sing.”  A testimony from the karaoke DJ, who wished to remain anonymous, revealed that Popolovski had mumbled her song in fluent Russian.

The judges of the karaoke competition were unknown figures within the community, two females in their early-twenties, who vanished quickly after the winner of the competition was announced.  However, a reliable source from the karaoke bar confirmed that the credit card used by the two judges was directly linked to a lawyer who is directly linked to the Kremlin.  Furthermore, there are multiple witnesses who can confirm the fact that both judges were drinking White Russians.

Then I considered the prize of the karaoke competition: a beer cooler with attached bottle opener.  My skeptics have already decried a lack of motivation for Russia to want the beer cooler.  But I realized, it wasn’t about the beer cooler, it was about sowing discord among a local community.  This shadow of doubt Russia has cast on our democratic process of karaoke competitions has destroyed America’s faith in karaoke competitions all together.  So long as Russia is an acceptable scapegoat in polite society, I foresee that faith will never be restored.

Karaokegate has officially been declared.

Vladimir Putin, the scumbag responsible for rigging the karaoke competition.

I Can’t Wait For Summer, So I Can Take a Break from Defunding Schools

Devos stares longingly out the window, while idly signing off on cuts to education.  (Photo by Getty Images)

[OPINION] Betsy Devos, WASHINGTON D.C.

There’s seriously only a month left of school and I can’t stop looking out the window of the Department of Education and daydreaming about going outside, instead of being stuck here, withering away the education budget.  It’s so boring here now that it’s getting warmer.  Who can even think about how to over-charge for an unaccredited, useless degree, now that spring flowers are blooming?

I feel an over-whelming sense of lethargy when it comes to defending sexual predators on campus, whereas I had more ambition to do so at the beginning of the year.  Likewise, when last semester started, letting for-profit colleges off the hook for defrauding students filled my life with purpose; now it’s just another tedious task in my endless schedule.

What no one told me about Washington D.C., is that there is a steep learning curve to politics around here.  But there aren’t enough available resources for me to learn how to effectively defund public education.  I mean, just the other day, I had to buy my own sharpie to cross out protections for disabled and trans students.  Don’t get me wrong, I love undercutting civil rights; it’s a difficult process, and I feel brighter and whiter for it.  I just need a break.  I know that come September, after a relaxing summer break in the Hamptons, I’ll be rejuvenated and ready to reform the Sciences to remove the part about science.

Wakanda is a Metaphor for the Neoliberal Establishment

Within their sheltered bubble of Wakanda, the elites have created a utopia so magnificent, only they can perceive it, while the rest of the world sees only stark poverty.  To those living through these oppressive circumstances, the neoliberals who have, in their minds, created the perfect society, appear no less than out-of-touch to the needs to working people, especially those of color.

The main conflict of the movie, Black Panther, is centered around an ancient electoral process, based on combat to the death.  When this backwards electoral process bears an unfavorable outcome, electing an outsider named Killmonger, at no point in the movie does anyone say, “Hey, maybe we should reform this oligarchy, in which might equals right, and create a more democratic system, where everyone gets an equal vote in who becomes the next leader.”  Instead they decide it’s time to overthrow this new leader, because he is acting recklessly and is a danger to the wellbeing of their nation.  This is undoubtedly a metaphor to Trump, who was able to win his seat of power as a result of a centuries-old electoral process, created by syphilitic slave-owners – and after the election no one decided to blame the backwards electoral process for the outcome, instead it’s Russia, Comey, Jill Stein, Wikileaks, and Susan Sarandon (on top of just about every other excuse under the sun).

Though the Trumpian character is overthrown and the establishment learns that they need to keep in mind the needs of the many, their solutions fit perfectly into the established societal framework.  The last scene, in which the oligarch leader of Wakanda starts buying up buildings to help reform a struggling neighborhood is reminiscent to how billionaires undemocratically spend their wealth on authoritarian humanitarian efforts; the people of those countries don’t get a say in how those funds are spent in their own country.  A billionaire can say, “I’m setting up a nonprofit institution for female lawyers.”  Well that’s great, but maybe the community needs food and healthcare first, but they don’t get a democratic say in how those funds are spent.  The end of the movie might as well have been Jeff Bezos coming down in a helicopter buying up buildings in a philanthropic effort to undo the harmful effects of capitalism – but truthfully, he’s too out-of-touch to actually know how to help people with the money.  Here’s an idea: pay your fair share of taxes so that we as a community can decide how to best spend that money.

At the end, the backwards electoral system, which allowed Killmonger to rise to power, remains unscathed, as does America’s Electoral College, which allowed Trump to win with three million fewer votes than his opponent; leaving an opening for America’s next tyrant and Black Panther’s next sequel.