“My Cat Is Depressed,” And 99 Other Reasons I Didn’t Write A Blog Post Today

I’m writing a novel, I’m writing a blog, I have a life, and I like to keep up to date with books, movies and music.  I’m only one person and I only have 24 hours in a day, so I’ve been delegating editing work to my cat.  I know what you’re going to say, “Jim, just hire a human editor to proof-read your work.”  I’m sorry I can’t afford that right now.  Everything I write has to go by my cat before it gets published.  Subsequently, my cat is depressed and is feeling extra lethargic.  He’s still working through what I wrote for him two days ago and his mood is not picking up.  As you can imagine, with my editor D.I.A. (depressed in action), it’s impossible to get any work done which is why I haven’t written a blog post in the last few days.

I’m going to the store later tonight to buy some catnip in hopes that will brighten his mood and get him back on track so that I can finish a blog post in (hopefully) the next day or two.  But, of course, I don’t want my cat to be reliant on elicit substances in order to function.  So I’ll just start by micro-dosing the catnip – not me of course, my cat.  I mean, why would I micro-dose catnip, that would be pointless, I’m a human.  It’s that kind of thinking that makes me need a cat-editor in the first place.

Look at me.  My cat doesn’t edit a single post and the entire blog falls to shit.  I can’t even write one blog post without my cat fixing my blunders and making sense of it.  I guess I’ll never be a real writer.  Not until my cat is feeling better, that is.  Now you know the truth of how my sad little sausage is made.  I write barely-comprehendible garbage and my cat edits it down to something easily digestible, unlike whatever he’s currently throwing up on my rug.

So, I apologize for this blog post, hopefully my cat is feeling better soon and gets back to editing my long-winded dribble, so that I can return to publishing quality blog posts regularly.


Hi, Welcome to My Blog

If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of my Facebook friends, or in my writing group, or you’re one of my parents, or you’re one of those few people who actually stumbled on my blog (I don’t know, maybe you like reading spec scripts for a cartoon that’s been off the air for 14 years).  Whatever the case, you made it!  You’re here!

It’s called the “Boundary-Bending Blog” because I’m not making any attempt to nail down the nature of posts I will be publishing here.  If you look at my most recent posts, they consist of my honest political opinion, vulgar satire, a book review, and speculative screenplays.  That’s the way things go around here: I write what I want to write.

Right now I’m in the process of writing a science fiction novel and it’s been a long road thus far; but one of the lessons I’ve learned is that when you are writing something that large, while you’re in the process of doing so, a whole bunch of other ideas will surface and permeate your consciousness and you have to get write them down and get them out, so you can move on (Even this very blog post is an idea that popped into my head and took control of the creative reins until it was satiated by release).  I created this blog because I wanted to have a place to publish all the random things that pop into my head as I work on completing my novel.  I’m also thinking of it as a kind of resume to prove to possible employers that I’m capable of writing.

I’m going to do my best to continue churning out more quality posts and hopefully you’re on board for the ride.  Maybe you dig my spec scripts but you aren’t into satire.  Maybe you like my opinion on books but my opinion on politics freaks you out.  Whatever the case, I don’t care.  I’m just going to keep chugging along and maybe you’ll like something you read.  And feel free to indulge me in the comments section along the way.

Man Starts Blog, World Response: “How Long Will That Last?”

DOYLESTOWN, PA.  Local writer, James Martin, set to the blogosphere earlier this month, when he created a personal blog.  “But really,” the world responded, “how long do you think that will fucking last?”  The world’s concerns deepened when Martin elaborated as to the nature of the posts he would be publishing: “It’s just, like, a place for me to write whatever is on my mind and just get it out into the world.”  The world collectively rolled their eyes, asking, “So you expect this to last about a month or two, then?”  Martin appeared determined to not shut down the blog just yet, claiming, “I feel like this could be a chance for me to gain a readership, which will help when I publish my novel.”  However, as of press time, there was still not a new blog posted for the weekend, to which the world responded, “Mmmhmmm.”