Karaokegate Turns Out To Be Baseless Conspiracy Theory, Or Is It?

2019-03-11-putinSo, I know that I told everyone that the Russian government was responsible for rigging the karaoke competition of 2018 at Finny’s Pub in Doylestown, PA, and I was super convinced it was true, but it turned out to be a bunch of phony-bologna, you guys.  I have now won two karaoke competitions in a row, since my loss on that fateful day.  Which leads me to the conclusion that Russia was not involved in karaoke collusion, because why would they rig it in my favor?

Unless they knew I was onto their trail, here at THE BOUNDARY-BENDING BLOG, the only fucking news source covering this, now re-emerging, critically-important story.  The Russians knew I was reporting on their karaoke deception, so now they have rigged the process in my favor in hopes of shutting me up.  Well folks, I’m here to tell you that my integrity can’t be bought.  Well, I mean, at first I was here to tell you that it was all just gas because I won, but as soon as I typed the words, “Russia was not responsible,” I knew that couldn’t be true and there was a hidden angle to grasp at.  I just figured it out in real-time.

At first, the realization that Russia wasn’t responsible for rigging the 2016 competition made me somberly reflect that my loss was due to my own merits as a karaoke singer, which was too painful to address as a possibility.  But now, the prospect that I never truly won either of those karaoke competitions and that Russia was fixing it in my favor, makes me feel even worse.  It’s like, even when I win, I can never truly win.  All because of the discord sown by Russia, America’s most democratic process of karaoke competitions will never be safe.  Russia’s malice will not be satiated until we’re all karaoke communists!  I can’t believe I didn’t figure out their plan to buy my silence earlier.

Again, I did win a karaoke competition, this time I won a bike, and no this awesome bribe will not make me shill for the CIA’s #1 foreign adversary, so forget it, Vlady-boy.  I’ll gladly live through another full-blown Cold War for truth, democracy and most importantly, for karaoke!

Who Will Bail-Out Banks After The Next Crash? Their Depositors

Capitalism is an unstable system, evident by the economic down-turns that happen every four to seven years.  Most Americans are still recovering from the last economic recession in 2008-09.  Meanwhile, the next crash is right around the corner.  JPMorgan’s own internal documents have the company predicting the next crash will happen in 2020.  Certainly, anyone paying attention can see the signs that the crash is already in progress.  The U.S. federal government started by giving unknown banks $75 billion per day, which has grown to $100 billion a day, because the banks are coming up short on cash – every – single – day.

The crash is happening right now and the government is already bailing banks out; however only to the extent that they get Mr. Trump re-elected.  Once the 2020 election is over, whether Trump wins or another candidate, the economy will go into free-fall, as the government will stop funneling money into these failing banks and the banks will need to find a new way to reimburse their losses.  In a true “free-market economy” as these Capitalists claim to aspire for, the investors of these banks would themselves have to pool the money to cover their own losses, but they don’t want to do that.  So they have another idea on how to get bailed out: not from the taxpayer, but directly from their depositors.

New laws were implemented in 2014 to help governments deal with failing banks, allowing for, what is called, a “bail-in.”  What this means is that the bank can take funds directly from their depositors to make up for their own losses.  They have no obligation to ever pay this money back to their depositors.  The U.S. government does still claim to insure amounts up to $250,000 in a bank account, but after the next crash, they may not have the resources to keep that promise, allowing the banks to take what they please.

This is, of course, not without precedent.  After the 2008 mortgage crisis, 5.2 million families lost their homes, taken by the banks and then resold by the banks; the banks got paid twice for the same house, while regular people were kicked to the curb.  The banks paid Obama very well to protect them from the wrath of their victims.  In preparation for the next crash, the finance industry is again paying Trump and corporate Democrats, like Joe Biden, Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris, and Cory Booker, to ensure whoever is elected will be on their side after the crash.  Obama received $1.2 million from the financial sector for his 2008 campaign; below are the top recipients of the financial sector for the 2020 election.

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The fact that these laws were passed is proof that this is their plan after the next crash.  I’m trying to warn people about this because this will affect anyone with money in a bank account, which is all of us.  Cyprus has already implemented these policies of austerity in the face of financial crisis, allowing banks to steal money directly from their depositors.  This is yet another example of how the fear-mongering Capitalists do of Socialism ‘stealing what you’ve earned,’ is actually true of what Capitalism does.  Aside from stealing the output of their workers’ labor to make a profit, they then fine, tax, and steal from working people to reimburse their own financial failures.

If there is any lesson of emphasis to take from this warning, it is that it does not matter who is in office after the next economic crash; whether the President is a Republican or a Democrat, the only thing that matters is how much money they took from the financial industry, because that is a direct reflection of who they will serve.  Trump and the Democrats I listed are obvious puppets of the banks, but even Elizabeth Warren, who spouts vague progressive rhetoric in the primary campaign, vows to take corporate money in the general election.  But as Bernie Sanders says, “You can’t change a corrupt system by taking its money.”  You may have noticed the corporate media covers Warren favorably while they still smear Bernie; it’s because they know Warren isn’t a real threat to the corporate establishment and Bernie is.  While I’m certain the DNC will once again cheat him out of being the Democratic nominee, he is the only candidate who is unpaid by and will have the guts to stand up to the banks in the face of their crimes against humanity and a crash with the potential to be more severe than the Great Depression.

The Paradox of Disclosure

maxresdefaultGiven the recent headlines related to UFOs, like certain UFO footage being confirmed as real by the US Navy and the Area 51 raid (which turned out to be just a glorified dance party), many people are craving the advent of Disclosure and wondering when it will happen.  I wish to explain my thoughts on the subject, but first I want to define some terms.

Disclosure refers to the idea that one day, world governments and corporations will finally concede their cover-up and disclose everything they know about UFOs and extraterrestrial life visiting Earth.  Theorists point to shows like Ancient Aliens and other pop culture references to claim that mainstream media is prepping the masses to eventually accept the reality of UFOs and life beyond Earth.  Of course, theorists are all we can ever really be (given the lack of information and abundance of misinformation), and the best theorists are their own greatest skeptic.  Though certainly, given the vast nature of the universe, it is mathematically unlikely that Humans are alone in the cosmos.

Global Corporatism refers to the oligarchic powers that have bought control over world governments.  These powers are unelected, they serve no government and no people; multi-national corporations are machines created to make a profit every quarter, regardless of the human cost.  They are not American, they don’t care about America; if our economy collapses, they don’t care because they can move to the next country, hence the word: multi-national.  Key information remaining secret is imperative to their bottom line.

Six people own every newspaper, magazine, journal, television station, and so on; these are giant media conglomerates that are also heavily embedded into the military industrial complex, the fossil fuel industry, and many other corporate interests.  The sole crux of the argument that I will go on to make in this article is based on the fact that Global Corporatists will never publish anything that goes against their own financial interests.  Likewise, what they do decide to publish will inherently have a profit motive.  For example, on the advent of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, every media outlet was pro-war, while at the same time being funded by corporations within the Military Industrial Complex.  They have proven time and time again that their journalistic integrity can be bought.

The idea of Disclosure relies on Global Corporatists to decide to publish this information; something they would only do were there a profit motive.  The paradox being, that even when they do decide to disclose information about UFOs, it will only be to the extent to which they can make a profit.  Therefore, my theory is that there is a financial incentive for Disclosure to not happen.

Many people theorize that Disclosure hasn’t happened because it would cause a panic and frenzy in the streets.  My comedic take to that is: All you have to do is watch the 6PM Nightly News to know that the media isn’t afraid to put you in a panic and frenzy.

The Global Corporatists are only afraid of losing a profit.  Whistleblower Steven Greer claims that UFOs utilize free-energy technology — a revelation that, if revealed, would completely collapse the fossil fuel industry and the world economy as we know it.  It is public knowledge that cigarette companies suppressed information about their product and fossil fuel companies occupy these same information-suppression tactics when it comes to climate change.  The same is true when it comes to Disclosure: It is within their financial interests to deny any truth that could harm their bottom line; and time after time, we have witnessed the mainstream media assist the Global Corporatists in these propaganda efforts.

There are less than three decades of profitability remaining in the fossil fuel industry before green-energy is cheaper to manufacture and investors pull out of financing dirty fuels.  The Global Corporatists intend to make every cent of that profit before allowing new technology to take over.  Therefore, I predict Disclosure will happen no-sooner than the three decades it will take for fossil fuels to stop being profitable.  And at that point, who knows where we will be, who knows what war we will be in, and what the oligarchic powers will do with their propaganda machines.

My second prediction is that Disclosure will only serve the oligarchic powers: an alien “menace” or a “new enemy” will be created that we have to fight in space before they fight us here at home.  This is, of course, not true Disclosure, but another façade to keep the military industrial complex and the Global Corporatists in control (If aliens wanted to kill us, we’d already be dead).

For that is the Paradox of Disclosure: Disclosure in a true sense will never happen, because powerful oligarchs control the flow of information and they will never secede that control.  When “Disclosure” does happen, it will be through the warped view of a corporatist whose sole purpose it is to manufacture weapons of war.  They will inform you just enough to make you scared and never enough to make you enlightened.

The idea of Disclosure is a false paradigm to begin with.  The very request for Disclosure is a request for Global Corporatists to set aside their contractual agreement to make a profit and tell you the truth about aliens.  You can stop that sentence before you even get to the part about aliens; Global Corporatists will never publish anything that goes against their own financial interests (regardless of the subject or its validity).

As previously mentioned, we can only ever be theorists and aspiring to be more is to forget our place in the universe.  Disclosure seeks to place a finite solution on an infinite plane.  The solution is not for oligarchs to expand our consciousness with new information; it is for us to face the world as agnostics, to raise our consciousness for ourselves.

The only way forward is for us to realize that we are all connected.  Peace on a galactic level requires peace among ourselves.  Never stop asking questions.  Never believe what you’re being told.  Listen to a variety of independent journalists for your news.  And turn off your television.

Mueller Karaoke Report: Prepare for Disappointment

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Robert Mueller pondering all of the stolen karaoke competitions.

President Donald Trump’s critics have spent the past 3 months anticipating what some expect will be among the most thrilling events of their lives: special counsel Robert Mueller’s final report on Russian karaoke competition interference.

They may be in for a disappointment.

That’s the word BOUNDARY-BENDING BLOG got from defense lawyers working on the Russia probe and more than 15 former government officials with investigation experience spanning Watergate to the 2016 karaoke case. The public, they say, shouldn’t expect a comprehensive and presidency-wrecking account of Kremlin meddling and alleged karaoke obstruction by Trump — not to mention an explanation of the myriad subplots that have bedeviled lawmakers, journalists and amateur karaoke sleuths.

Perhaps most unsatisfying: Mueller’s karaoke findings may never even see the light of day.

“That’s just the way this works,” said John Q. Barrett, a former associate counsel who worked under independent counsel Lawrence Walsh during the Reagan-era investigation into secret U.S. arms sales to Iran. “Mueller is a criminal investigator. He has no stake in who becomes karaoke king.”

All of this may sound like a buzzkill after three months of intense news coverage depicting a potential conspiracy between the Kremlin, Red Stripe and Trump’s campaign, plus the scores of tweets from the White House condemning the Mueller karaoke probe as a “witch hunt.”

Mueller’s karaoke probe isn’t operating under the same ground rules as past high-profile government probes, including the Reagan-era investigation into Iranian arms sale and whether President Bill Clinton lied during a deposition about his extramarital affair with a White House intern. Those examinations worked under the guidelines of a post-Watergate law that expired in 1999 that required investigators to submit findings to Congress if they found impeachable offenses, a mandate that led to Starr’s salacious report that upended Clinton’s second term.

Mueller’s reporting mandate is much different. When he is finished, he must turn in a “confidential report explaining the prosecution or declination decisions” — essentially why he chose to bring charges against some people but not others. His reasoning, according to veterans of such investigations, could be as simple as “there wasn’t enough evidence” to support a winning karaoke court case.

Government officials will first get a chance to scrub the special counsel’s findings for classified details, though, involving everything from foreign intelligence sources to karaoke performed during grand jury testimony that the law forbids the government from disclosing.

The White House, for one, has indicated it might try to butt into the proceedings. Trump personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani said earlier this summer that the White House had reserved the right to block the release of karaoke information in Mueller’s final report that might be covered through executive privilege.

Congress is also primed to have a say. While Democratic leaders are hoping a return to power in the upcoming November midterms could grant them subpoena power to pry as much information of karaoke interference as possible from the special counsel’s office. Republicans might try to restrict the release of certain details that might embarrass the president, for instance the claim that Trump lost a karaoke competition in 2015, the key motivator of his presidential aspirations, to prevent anyone else from winning a karaoke competition.

The timing on the Mueller investigation final karaoke report — the special counsel’s office declined comment for this report — remains unclear. While he’s under no deadline to complete his work, several sources tracking the investigation say the special counsel and his team appear eager to wrap up. “I’m sure he’s determined to get back to the rest of his life,” said Barrett, the Iran-Contra investigator who is now a law professor at St. John’s University.

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Mary McCord being a Karaokegate buzzkill.

Mary McCord, a Georgetown University law professor and former DOJ official who helped oversee the FBI’s Russian karaoke meddling investigation before Mueller’s appointment, cautioned against heightened expectations around the special counsel’s final karaoke report.

“Don’t overread any of these facts that are in the world to suggest a quick wrap-up and everyone is going to get a chance to crown a karaoke king the next day,” she said. “It will probably be detailed because this material is detailed, but I don’t know that it will all be made public.”

Some of the central players in Karaokegate say they, too, have become resigned to not getting a complete set of answers out of Mueller’s work. “I assume there are going to be lots of details we’ll never learn, and lots of things that will never come to light,” said Robbie Mook, Clinton’s 2016 campaign manager.

But Mook added that Mueller’s efforts can be deemed a “success” if he answers just a few questions. For example, Mook wants to know whether and how the Russian government infiltrated karaoke competitions to influence the outcome. He wants to know whether there was an effort in the White House or in the president’s orbit to cover up what happened.

“What the people saying, ‘there will never be evidence,’ don’t understand is that we never needed evidence to begin with.  Putin’s guilty and that’s that.  In fact, the fact that we’ll never know the facts means we can skew them even further.  Golly, who knows what other problems in America we can blame on Russia.”

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Robbie Mook laughing off suggestions that Russia isn’t 100% guilty.

Manafort Karaoke Deal Increases Impeachment Pressure on Trump

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Donald Trump trying to deny his involvement in fraudulent karaoke competitions.

Paul Manafort, Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman, has agreed to cooperate with Robert Mueller’s inquiry into Russian interference of countless karaoke competitions across the nation, a move that has escalated speculation of impeachment in Washington.

Manafort pleaded guilty to two criminal charges on Friday morning and struck a plea deal agreeing to assist special counsel Robert Mueller’s inquiry into Russian interference in thousands of karaoke competitions across the nation since 2016, including the karaoke competition at Finny’s Pub in Doylestown, PA on August 23rd, 2018.  The plea agreement set out how Manafort must turn over documents and brief officials about “his participation in and knowledge of all criminal karaoke activities”.

The Sunday politics shows were duly dominated by talk of growing peril for Trump following Manafort’s dramatic moment in court.

Adam Schiff, the leading Democrat on the House intelligence committee, told NBC’s Meet the Press: “Manafort is at the confluence of a number of pernicious interests. You’ve got the president working with a Jamaican beer company to set up fraudulent karaoke competitions, you’ve got the president himself aspiring to be karaoke king.

“You’ve got Manafort trying to transfer money from this Russian oligarch to Red Stripe … you have the Russians who want to have a relationship with the Trump campaign, they want to help Trump achieve his karaoke dreams. All those interests converge with Paul Manafort, so basically we want to know what can Manafort tell us about whether any of that was consummated.

“He’s trying to win at karaoke, they’re trying to rig competitions, the Russians are trying to help Trump. Was there a meeting of the minds? That goes to the heart of the collusion or conspiracy issue.”

Schiff added: “Manafort is a key person to help us unwind whether this was the most improbable string of unlikely karaoke coincidences or whether this was an active karaoke conspiracy.”

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Adam Schiff is the senior Democrat sniffing out karaoke crimes.

Trump defended himself, tweeting on Sunday morning: “The illegal Mueller Witch Hunt continues in search of a karaoke crime. There was never Collusion with Russia or Red Stripe, Hillary Clinton rigged those Karaoke Competitions, so the 17 Angry Democrats are looking at anything they can find. Very unfair and BAD for karaoke. ALSO, not allowed under the LAW!”

Ken Starr, the special prosecutor whose investigation of the Monica Lewinsky affair 20 years ago led to the unsuccessful impeachment of Bill Clinton, said on CNN’s State of the Union: “The Trump White House and the lawyers are taking a page from the Clinton playbook. Attack the prosecutor.”

He said the real significance of Manafort’s move was “we are much closer to getting the truth than we were before this plea”, calling it “terrific for the investigation and frankly the American people’s faith in karaoke competitions.”

Starr, who has just published a book about the investigation of Clinton, said Trump would be unwise to give Manafort a pardon. Asked if impeachment should happen, he said: “I hope not, because one of the lessons in the book is impeachment is hell. The country should not be taken through that just because someone lost a karaoke contest.

“The founding generation wisely knew that it was such a serious act that it would require a two-thirds majority in the Senate. Unless there is a growing national consensus that karaoke competitions should be a trusted pillar of American Democracy, then perhaps impeachment is doomed to fail and it’s just the wrong way to go.”

A CNN poll last week showed eight in 10 Democratic voters think Trump should be impeached immediately and, across the board, voters approve of handling of the investigation into Russian karaoke meddling.

The Alabama Democratic senator Doug Jones told CNN: “Clearly you have people close to the president of the United States who have committed crimes and that, in and of itself, is a problem. But rigging a karaoke competition is not necessarily an impeachable offence.”

Jones, fighting to hold a seat in deep Trump country, cautioned that any judgment on whether to proceed with impeachment must wait until Mueller completes his karaoke investigation.

“Just because we’ve seen people that surround the president have gone forward [to prosecution for karaoke-related crimes] doesn’t mean there should be impeachment hearings, not by any stretch,” he said. “Once we see the reports we’ll have to weigh those reports on their own to find out who really rigged that karaoke competition.”

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Tell me what you know, you commie karaoke conspirator.

Cory Booker Releases Kavanaugh Documents Amid Karaoke Confrontation

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Senate confirmation hearings for Donald Trump’s nominee for the supreme court descended into chaos on Thursday, as Cory Booker sparred with the nominee about Russian karaoke meddling.  Kavanaugh remained obstinate throughout his questioning, before Booker decided to release confidential documents, fully aware of the consequences entailed.

Kavanaugh refused to say whether a sitting president must respond to a fictitious subpoena related to fraudulent karaoke competitions – not an academic issue in the age of Trump.  He declined to agree to Democratic calls for him to recuse himself from any cases related to the Russian karaoke investigation.  And he would not say where he would come down on censoring fake news related to Russian karaoke meddling.

New Jersey Democrat Cory Booker said he was ready to risk expulsion from the Senate for making public documents pertinent to Kavanaugh’s personal experience in karaoke competitions.  The confidential email Booker provided, is damning evidence, to say the least.

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The email, dated July 29th, 2002, clearly details that Kavanaugh and several other associates met at a karaoke bar in Washington D.C. on more than one occasion.  Amid Donald Trump’s own karaoke-rigging indictments, Democrats have concluded that Kavanaugh has similar motivations to rig fraudulent karaoke competitions across the nation, which is why Trump hand-picked him to be the nominee.

Republicans are now scrambling to deny any personal karaoke aspirations to separate themselves from Trump and his administration, and to maintain a sense of unity in order to secure a confirmation of their nominee.  Mitch McConnell has insisted that he never in his life “ever dreamed of participating in a karaoke event.”  Just based on the look of him, I believe he’s telling the truth — not everyone is born for the karaoke stage.

Bombshell New Info in Trump, Russia Karaoke Meddling Case

As official investigators have been searching for clues into the motivations of Trump, Russia, and Red Stripe (among several others) regarding the rigging of fraudulent karaoke competitions across America, one pertinent clue has recently come to light.  While the motivation of Russia is clearly to sow discord, Trump’s motivations appear to be far more corrupt.

New evidence suggests that Trump himself holds unfulfilled aspirations to win a karaoke competition.  This blurry cellphone snapshot was supposedly taken of Trump during a karaoke competition.

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Why does the Manchurian Candidate sing?

The witness and source of the photo, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that the photo was taken in 2015 and that Trump was singing “My Humps” by The Black Eyed Peas.  The source suggested that Donald Trump was so devastated after losing the karaoke competition, that he changed his karaoke aspirations to become President of the United States to make it so that no one could ever win a karaoke competition ever again.

The implications of this most recent revelation are sickening: Trump sold the integrity of America’s democratic institutions to Russia for his own selfish means. While Putin’s motivation is far more obvious, to sow discord in America, Trump’s motivation is deeply personal and Putin was wise enough to take advantage of Trump’s weaknesses.

At this point, anyone who denies the truth that Trump and Russia conspired with Red Stripe to rig karaoke competitions is either a witting or unwitting puppet of Putin.  For the rest of you patriots keeping a close eye on Karaokegate, if you’re unsure of where it could possibly go from here, worry not.  Like Rachel Maddow fifteen minutes into her show, I have only just begun frothing-at-the-mouth over Russia.

In Wake of Karaokegate, Facebook Must Ban Fake News

In the aftermath of Karaokegate, in which Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Red Stripe conspired to rig karaoke competitions across America, Donald Trump and his goons are spreading Fake News to suggest no connection between Trump, Putin, and the karaoke competition of August 23rd, 2018.  At this moment, every self-respecting journalist should be calling on Facebook, Google, and other Silicon Valley oligarchs to censor all Fake News that defies the narrative of Karaokegate.

Russia has compromised the President of the United States and now media outlets are working as the unwitting propaganda arm of Putin by supporting Trump in his crusade to rig every karaoke competition in America.  If Trump and Putin were not guilty (and potentially engaged in a homosexual relationship), why would they be fighting these charges against them so ruthlessly?  I have placed indictments on all parties involved, so why do they not want the truth to come out in court?  How many stolen karaoke competitions is the Trump administration hiding from us?

The last thing we need at a time like this, is multiple perspectives on a complex issue.  If you’re critical of the Karaokegate narrative, you’re banned from the internet!  If you have a problem with that, you can go cry to your buddy Putin, maybe he’ll give you magical Communist unicorns filled with Wi-Fi and free-healthcare, you commie traitor.

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I trust that guy to censor Fake News about Russian karaoke meddling.

Trump Responds to Russian Indictments: “Fake News”

In a series of tweets, the Trump administration has responded to allegations that Donald Trump himself colluded with the Russian government and Jamaican beer company, Red Stripe, to rig fraudulent karaoke competitions across America.  First he called the allegations, “Fake News,” then he continued by lambasting the sources of the dossier surrounding Karaokegate.

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In the tweet, President Trump claims that Red Stripe never gave him any information about karaoke competitions, and quickly deflects to his electoral opponent, as a strategy he often employs.  However, considering the context of the quote provided, one could conclude that Trump is defending his ties to Red Stripe, if only the information he received from Red Stripe and Russia had been through an intermediary.

The most troubling response to the dossier was when Trump specifically referenced The Boundary-Bending Blog as a purveyor of fake news and labelled this very blog, “the enemy of the people.”  Now that Trump has been caught red-handed working as a Russian operative to rig karaoke competitions across the nation, his only two strategies are to obfuscate and attack.

It’s unclear if Donald Trump is aware of the fact that my indictments are not legally binding, but at the very least, it’s pleasing to see that he is treating them as if they are, as I will continue to do until America’s faith in the democratic process of karaoke competitions is restored.

[BREAKING] Trump Officially Indicted In Russian Meddling of Karaoke Competition

[WASHINGTON, D.C.]  Just minutes after Jamaican beer company, Red Stripe, was indicted for colluding with the Russian government to rig the karaoke competition of August 23rd, investigators began digging even deeper for clues to the mastermind Russian plot to undermine America’s faith in karaoke competitions.  However, none of us expected the investigation to go this deep.

Several figures within the Trump administration, including Donald Trump himself, have officially been indicted for conspiring with the Russians to sow discord in America, including, but not limited to, the rigging of a fraudulent karaoke competition, which took place on August 23rd, 2018 at Finny’s Pub in Doylestown, PA.

The evidence to support this most recent indictment is quite striking, considering it was right under our nose the entire time.  Clearly, Donald Trump has been working with Red Stripe, the sponsor of the karaoke competition, and the Russian government to rig karaoke competitions all over America.

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Dun, dun, dun!

In the midst of this mind-blowing revelation, Karaokegate has officially been declared.  This photo is incriminating evidence that one of America’s most trusted democratic institutions, the karaoke competition, has been tainted by the President himself, who is working as a Russian operative.  Discord is officially sowed.  Even more unsettling is the expression of the man standing behind Putin.  That furrowed brow carries the weight of a thousand stolen karaoke competitions.

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What does he know about karaoke meddling?

For good measure, I’m indicting that guy too.  It’s time to get to the bottom of this.  As previously mentioned, my indictments are not legally binding, but I will continue to treat them as if they are.  Now that the President of the United States has officially been indicted, Russia is without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt guilty of interfering in at least one karaoke competition, though my suspicion is that this operation spans over thousands of karaoke competitions across the country.

For more information about Russian karaoke meddling, don’t miss my tell-all book, What Happened At the Karaoke Competition?