Unknown Rapper Trying to Get Shot For Fame

SquiggleXLampshade diving headfirst into the crossfire of gang violence. 

Virtually unknown Chicago-based rapper, SquiggleXLampshade, is trying to earn his place among the greatest rappers by getting shot.  “My music sounds like every other rap song,” he bragged, “my hair-do looks like an exotic bird, I have face tattoos, now I just need some bullet holes to get clicks on my soundcloud.”  Our interview took place on a street corner in the Chicago projects, where the 20-year-old rapper was actively searching for drive-by shooters.  “All the best rappers got shot before they made it big, I’m just looking for my shot at fame,” SquiggleXLampshade said, before spitting out two verses which rhymed fame with fame, causing the interviewer to roll his eyes.  “I’m out here starting beefs with everyone – that’s how you play the rap game.”  He appeared optimistic that he would soon be discovered, claiming, “once I get shot, I can finally get in the studio and make some music.”  As of press time, SquiggleXLampshade was wearing a deer outfit while frolicking through hunting grounds.


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